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People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
Stall Cleaning service, Satisfaction guaranteed or 100% or you manure back!
Babysitters are just teenagers who behave like adults so that adults can go out and behave like teenagers.
How do people rap? I can’t even talk without messing it up.
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How´d that work out for him?
Bathtub` spelled backwards is still `bathtub`. It`s not, but for a second there, you believed me.
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
If you`re feeling bored, find a group photo of four girls on instagram and then comment "you three look great!" Wait and grab popcorn.
Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I`m now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.
I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.
If you like to spoon, you`ll love to spatula. That`s where I flip you over to make certain you`re done properly on both sides.
I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers