Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely Facebooking than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space.
Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
If you don`t think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you`re probably the boss
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
My dad says that if I don`t stop typing so loudly, he`s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
Friends with benefits? What, like you can provide dental insurance?
I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest…just not more than I don’t want to.
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
Sure thing.... follow me... I`ll show you the fastest way to get to nowhere.
No. My hair magically got shorter.
Women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
If you fall, I`ll be there - Floor
I keep seeing all these commercial on TV about working out and getting "ripped" in 90 days.. Give me a bottle of Jack Daniels and I`ll get ripped in 15 minutes
Why do people freak out about dolphins getting caugh in tuna nets? What about the tuna?