Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
Sometimes, late at night in WalMart, I switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say 3 times the name of the person you love, you will look really stupid doing that!
The list of things I won’t eat if covered in chocolate gets smaller everyday.
I`m a crabby a$$ bitch before my coffee ... and after
As I slowly ran my finger down her G string I thought to myself, this is a nice guitar.
I dont believe in beating my kids, so I make them wear a Justin Bieber shirt & crocs to school so the other kids will do it for me.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
Do the right thing today: Go to someone`s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
The fastest way to being happy is to make other people happy. You go first.
The awkward moment when you’ve already said “what?” three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.