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I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
You notice how no faith-healers have stepped forward to help out with the ebola crisis in Africa......
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
Not sure why my wife is only mad at me, our 4 year old forgot her birthday too.
Just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
Car sex is not fun...that tailpipe BURNS
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
This might be my ego talking, but I feel my weight-loss spambot followers care about me. They really, really, do.
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
Sometimes I feel like a semicolon. I don`t know where I belong.
Seeking one night stand. I might need two though, I do have a lot of books.