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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
I always take a number at the deli, and I`ve been keeping them.... Eventually I`ll have all the numbers and it will always be my turn.
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
Is "blowjob" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards. -Bfanch
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
If it looks like a pig and walks like a pig, do me a favor & tell my ex girlfriend I said hello.
My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
I havend`t heard from DAEMON MAILER in years, I hope he`s okay.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
“But I read somewhere…” -me about to make some sh!t up.
I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.
Never scratch your a$$ with chocolate on your fingers.
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.