Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
No one sees you when you`re kind, no one sees you when you do a nice thing, but all will see on you when you fart.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.
I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
Please do not read this.
That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
"What doesn`t kill you makes you smaller." -Super Mario
We get it poets: things are like other things
I liked you better before we met.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
I wouldn`t do much for a Klondike Bar; I would however get naked for beer.