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If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
I`m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar.
You have a point. It`s just not very sharp
An arranged marriage is just another way of saying that your parents helped you get laid.
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
So you constantly feel sorry for yourself and feel the need to tell everyone all about it. I can’t imagine why he left you.
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
There is no one more trustworthy than Clark Kent`s dry cleaner.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts.
I wouldn`t say I`m a stalker so much as I am a covert observation enthusiast.