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I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
"No comment" - said no woman, ever
My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
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Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
Was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer...
Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror naked just to remind myself what nobody`s getting.
If a worker gets fired & banned from the Lego company, have they been "blocked"?
We all have that one person we forever regret giving our phone number to.
I don`t know what`s longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
I got a job at Bath and Body Works just so I can tell people to smell my finger...
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.
You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.