Daily Silly Status

Years ago, my girlfriend said, “It’s me or the beer!” I wonder how she doing…

I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.

They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.

I´m (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.

I just burned 1200 calories! I forgot about the pizza in the oven.

"Memory foam pillow fights". That`s one fight you`ll never forget.

I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.

There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. ...I sure hope they let me back in Walmart.

I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.

Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.

I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.

Really offended that these microwave instructions told me to turn my burrito over gently like I don`t treat every burrito with the utmost respect

Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.

DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.

I didn`t come here to make friends. I go to the cat shelter for that.