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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
The older the Facebook post, the creepier your “like” becomes.
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinkyhead that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to get in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.
If you´re a millionaire and you don´t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool, then you should just give me all of your money because you´re wasting it.
When you screw up, menopause can be a wonderful excuse for stupid things you do or say!!!
Such a satisfying feeling when “the one that got away” turns into “dodged that bullet”
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
Be the best you can be, while being the worst that you`re able to get away with.
I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry.
I feel bad for the photons that travel 93 million miles from the sun and then have to bounce off your stupid face.
If I owned a copy shop, I’d only hire identical twins to work there.
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.