Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and I’ve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
One trenta cheeseburger please.
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
I`m awkward when people compliment me. "Nice hair" "Thanks, I grew it myself"
Word for the day is asstard
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
Every selfie you post should come stamped with a number like a limited edition print. "Attempt 7 of 25".
Just once I`d like a doctor to tell me I`m not getting enough beer in my diet.
Dieting Tip, 1. Make a list of people who have a problem with your weight, 2. Cut them out of your life. 3. Enjoy having lost Hundreds of pounds of Idiots.
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
What do 95% of men do after an orgasm? Delete their browser history.
I wonder if my neighbors are more tired of hearing my dog bark or me screaming at it to shut the f*ck up.