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Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the hell.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
If you`re bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
Neighbor just yelled at me for playing in his sprinkler. Note to self, I should wear clothes next time.
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
If you can´t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don´t know where you are.
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
*puts selfie on top of christmas tree because I am the star*
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] …Smells like glass, doesn’t it
I wish electronics would scream a little bit when you unplugged them.
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.
Sometimes in life, all you really need is a lot of money.