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Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
Pizza: nah, Sex: eh, Drinking: no thanks, It`s so hard thinking of what to give up for Lent...
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
I fell off the wagon because I was too drunk to keep my balance
Yeah, I was dropped as a baby. Into a pool of sheer awesome.
sorry but your password must contain an "uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin"
I thought about cleaning my room this weekend but didn`t do it. Then I remembered its the thought that counts so I feel better now
Sometimes you can just tell it`s going to be a "Does not play well with others" kind of day.
I`m at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn`t have to get up to pee.
If heat makes things expand, then I don`t have a weight problem ... I am just Hot!
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
The problem with alcohol is that... it wears off.
If you`re wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don`t google `old man bond age`
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...
Single, means never having to say you`re sorry.