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People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
Just once I’d like to learn something the easy way.
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
What is the difference between a Snow-man & a Snow-lady? Snowballs!
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
Apparently, I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
Why do people say "Tuna Fish sandwich?" That`s like saying "Chicken Bird sandwich."
Advice of the day: Don`t go trick or treating at the bank. They get freaked out. Especially when it`s not Halloween
My friend told me his girlfriend talks a lot in her sleep..Apparently "I know" was not the right answer...
"Truth or dare" should be renamed to "Interrogation or Humiliation"
You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I only had to do it like 3 times a week. This every day thing is overkill.
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn`t stolen.