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Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!
Please don`t post that political joke you just came up with. . . it really wasn`t that funny to begin with. Thanks for understanding. -the rest of us
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Not all country music is terrible. If you can get past the lyrics about trucks, mud, farms and cows... It`s actually not too bad.
It`s going to be so disappointing if we ever ask aliens about crop circles and they`re just like, "We really hate corn."
I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That`s us in 10 years". She said "That`s a mirror".
Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
Volleyball is just a more intense game of "Don`t let the balloon touch the floor"
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who`s free for the weekend.