Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Kiss her in the middle of her sentence so you don`t have to hear what she`s talking about.
96% of my life is spent trying to figure out when I can get my next nap in.
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?
Did you hear about the Cannibal that "passed" his Uncle in the Jungle?...............
I’m going to start responding to videos people post of their babies on Facebook with videos of me getting nine hours of sleep.
Don`t hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
The best part of my divorce was how I woke up and I hadn`t done anything wrong
Being gay is fine. Being lesbian is fine. Being straight is fine. But do you know what’s not fine? Wearing crocs. That is NOT okay
My memory foam has amnesia
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time