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I miss the good old days when we blamed Marilyn Manson for all our problems.
A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of a chap stick.
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
Sluts are just hookers with no grasp of economics.
Missed the gym yesterday.... That makes 11 years in a row.
The secret to success is in my bra.
There`s no mirrors in this self checkout?!?
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
I don`t mind being wrong, as long as nobody knows.
Strip search? ... Fine, but I`m going to need some background music.
Don`t ask me what I did today, neither of us want to hear it out loud.
People who say you can´t buy happiness just don´t know where to shop.
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.