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I`m not feeling myself today ... would you do it for me?
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident.
Michael Schumacher`s former crew just visited him in the hospital. They changed the wheels on his bed and his drip in 4.4 secs.
I am not judging you...I already decided I don`t like you
Who called them expiration dates instead of spoiler alerts
I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.
Designated Driver is just a nicer way of saying, you can come with us, but nobody wants to deal with your drunk a$$.
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.
Don`t send me a ;) face and then wonder why I show up at your house naked.
It`s kind of funny how as you get older, you start enjoying things that you hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spanked.
I just called my boss and told him I have explosive diarrhea. It’s my day off, but I like to keep him informed.
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.