Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It was love at first sight...I should have looked twice.
You can`t choose your family but you can choose a hitman.
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
Walmart killed the traveling circus.
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?
More people should be at a loss for words.
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
Why don`t they make Neapolitan ice cream but with 3 better flavors?
Bicyclists, it`s one thing to hog the road, but it`s quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.