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Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
BEER! The official sponsor of hot days!
Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer`f*ck off` to `go away`.
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
Today is national bring your flask to work day. I just made it up. Tell the others...
If you smoke after sex, you`re doing it to fast.
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth.
The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Today I heard a guy on the street say, `It`s chowder season, baby!` so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.