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NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
My mom always said that I`d never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her...
My 6yo`s homework today is learning how to count backwards. Yep, that teacher knows about DUIs alright!
Exaggerations went up a million percent last year.
List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
My Hamster passed today, he fell asleep at the wheel.
I love buying a $1 burger and getting $2 worth of mayo...
Why aren`t they called A$$teroids instead of hemorrhoids???
The leading cause of divorce ? ... marriage
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
You know there was a time in my life where I just didn`t give a f#ck.....funny how it seems that much hasn`t changed from an hour ago!!
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.