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I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
FACT: Candy corn is made out of melted down traffic cones.
On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who`s hot. It`s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
A party without Vodka is just a meeting.
If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
On a scale of 1-10, I give this day a middle finger.
I hate it when I open my fridge and get punched by a bear... =/
“Make it rain” is the only appropriate response when asked if you want freshly grated parmesan.
If zombies attack the world, everyone will run and hide. Except for us gamers, of course. We`ve been waiting for this all our lives!