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Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
Golf, except there`s no balls or clubs or anything, and you just drive around in a cart and drink.
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
They say that when one door closes, another one opens. Apparently, "they" have never been to jail.
Why doesn`t, "I have a headache!" work for when I don`t want to mow the yard?
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
HR have advised that I’m not allowed to ask my chubby co-workers if they ate my missing stapler.
Him: What to play Trivial Pursuit? Her: Sure, But I,m not that smart. Him: What to play strip Trivial Pursuit?
A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
How do you expect kids to listen to their parents when Tarzan lives half naked, Cinderella comes home at midnight, Pinocchio lies all the time, Alladin is the king of thieves, Batman drives at 200 mph, Sleeping Beauty is lazy, and Snow White lives with 7 guys. We shouldn’t be surprised when they misbehave, they get it from their storybooks!