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Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
Calm down mechanic guy. Just here for an oil change. If I wanted to know about all the other shit wrong with my car I`d turn the radio down.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
The best part about Valentine`s Day is that tomorrow is Friday.
I like to pee on car windows in subzero weather, happy scraping
Yes, I streaked once on a dare ... all the rest of the times though were just for fun
My ex has had a really hard time moving on. From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were texting all night with a calculator.
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
My bed is half full - Lonely optimist.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
If you’re so much better than the leading brand then why are you not the leading brand?
Good thing I`m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.