Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
Sex with human, ok. Sex with cow, not ok. Grabbing cow titty, ok. Grabbing Karen in accounting`s titty, not ok. Apparently.
I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
Last night my wife said to me, “What would you do without me?” Apparently, “Your sister” was the wrong answer.
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
I`m not homophobic, I love my house!
I hate taking down Christmas decorations just to put up Halloween decorations...
I wish I could get excited as a redneck drinking cheap beer and watching cars go around in circles for hours.
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, I’ll be there.
I know its true love when I like you even when I`m sober.
Life is hard ... It`s harder if you`re stupid.
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.
The restraining order doesn`t mean we can`t hangout. It just says I can`t get within 50 ft of you. So you wanna play catch or frisbee or something?
I’m going back to sleep. I refuse to give up on my dreams that easily.