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I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
These ramen noodles taste like payday is next Friday.
I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is talking back right now.
Halfway through singing a romantic ballad to my cat, it occurred to me that I`m going to die alone.
I`ve always pictured myself taking selfies.
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." I´m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn´t one of them.
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
If you`re already in the cop car, I really can`t see how puking in it could make things any worse.
Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
I wanna be rich enough to have 11 little people who run out of my closet every morning dressed as a nascar pit crew to make my bed really fast.
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.