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Facebook. Where people can express thoughts that otherwise might get them fired, divorced, thrown in a loony bin or all three.
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
Sorry, I was not paying attention. I was thinking about having sex with you.
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.
YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.
heyy lol
To hell with the "dislike" button! i think we need a "who cares" button, a "WTF" button and a "STFU!" button. just saying.... Oh and a "lol" button because i just get tired of writing it! lol!
Never change. Unless you’re an a$$hole. Then you should probably change a little.
I really hope my spirit animal is a bear because well I would love to hibernate all winter.
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
My exercise routine needs to include a little more than opening difficult pistachios.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.
Skinny people are bitches. Probably because they`re hungry.