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Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop and where to spend it
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
LIKE IF you… walk into a room, forget what you need, walk out, and then remember.
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined by telling the truth.
"Rise and shine” is probably the most depressing thing a shoeshiner hears in the morning.
Today`s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.
Running shoes? No, I don`t run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
I dont run from my problems, I chase them ... with alcohol
I can keep a secret… It’s all the other people I tell it to who can’t.