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Her: Do I look fat? Him: Do I look stupid?...
Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
Something I will never understand: Why it’s acceptable for people to be idiots but not acceptable for me to point it out.
The only thing worse than having a song stuck in your head for an entire day is not knowing the name of the song.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
There are so many scams on the Internet now. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
I`ll never forget the first time I saw a dry erase board, "Wow" I thought, "that`s remarkable"
How come people who think they know everything never seem to know when to shut up?
Nice tan, what`s your race? Carrot?
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it
I want to take this moment to thank the depends adult diaper company for allowing me to play my video game for a strait 8 hours uninterupted...