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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
The high cost of livin ain`t nothin like the cost of livin high
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
I am dealing with it like an adult! Tonight I`m getting drunk!!!
This dishwasher sucks. It`s already ruined three of my paper plates.
PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
If I`m in your house and you have bookshelves... Be prepared to see me turning statues and bending down books while looking for your lair.
why waste your brain cells to think of a comment when you can just like someone else`s?
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic
Every pair of panties can be a thong if your a$$ is big enough.
I just saw a disclaimer that said "don`t try this at home", so I tried it at my neighbors house.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
I can’t decide if the drinks are too weak or if my tolerance is too strong.