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Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re a terrible person and had it coming.
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
I have an awesome idea, but first I`ll need a zebra, bungee cords, jello, and a partner in crime. Any takers?
For every bad idea you have, I’m always there to tell you…I’m in.
All I`m saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us. But, whatever, be that way.
I stay a bit overweight because it wouldn`t be fair to all the skinny people if I were this attractive, intelligent, funny, AND thin ... It`s a public service really.
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
I was planning to do something today, but I haven’t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
It`s not "you`re" or "your". It`s mine. It`s all mine, everything is mine!
I play hard to get along with.