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Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
3yo just yelled "face-five!" & slapped his brother in the face. I`m totally using that at work tomorrow.
And that`s when I realized, it wasn`t the hamburger who needed help, it was me
Life is full of disappointments, I`ll just add you to the list.
Divorce is expensive because its worth it.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
Not to brag, but Netflix recommends certain movies just for me.
“I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others”- The phrase that started Facebook.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I`m calling Santa!"
The hardest part of carving a pumpkin nowadays is finding some newspaper to spread
American Sniper proves that not even being in an active war zone will prevent your spouse from calling you at work.
I don’t drink to forget, I… what was I saying?
Doing donuts in the parking lot sounds fun. Eating donuts in the parking lot sounds better.