Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet... Oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.
To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
Sometimes, I like to stalk random strangers vacation pic`s, and tag myself as one of the people in the background just for laughs.
I`m sorry I snort-laughed when you were saying your vows.
Where 5 minutes becomes 5 hours. Facebook.
I don`t really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense ... Like a Bear at mile 3
The really cool thing about being a husband is having your mistakes constantly pointed out.
It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
Nice try blocked number, but I don`t even answer my phone when I know who`s calling.
Life is like a teenager`s p@nis. some are short, some are long, but it is always hard.
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
So... Where does one obtain minions?
Plastic surgeons are the only people that actually encourage you to pick your nose.
Home is where the alcohol is.