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The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
I`ve reached that time of day between "coffee wearing off" and "murdering my co-worker."
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
You should have been a chicken and just went home.
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.
Nothing says "party" like a red plastic cup.
I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
Whether you`re a woman or a straight man, taking a bra off is likely to be one of the high points of your day.
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
Sorry I`m late. I had five cups of coffee and became convinced I could probably bend a fork with my mind, so I had to give it an honest try.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.
Releasing a long silent fart as I walk through first class on the way to my economy seat is definitely my favorite part of boarding an aircraft.
What`s with this `running with scissors` bullsh!t? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?