Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
Eventually, some poor astronaut is going to crash into all that Star Wars writing
For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don`t get her a bathroom scale. Just sayin"
I`m always tempted to yell "Kevin!" mid-flight.
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like facebook in real life.
Sarcasm: just one of the many services I offer ;)
It`s bad luck to be superstitious.
There is a gym called Anytime Fitness. I choose 2030.
I`ve spotted six Pokémon today but I don`t have the game so I may need new meds...
I finished your laundry, the ashes are in the fireplace.
It`s nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he`s getting hit by a train.
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.