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Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
Please don`t hastag out loud...
Sometimes, I wish I could fast forward the time just to see if in the end it`s all worth it.
Did you know that one minute of kissing burns 26 calories? No wonder those sluts are so damn skinny.
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
I`d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
I found a spider in my shoes. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
Knock knock Who`s there? Control Freak. Now you say "Control Freak who?"
Make Monday More Fun: Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!” Sit back and watch the magic unfold..
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
Just because you`re not paranoid doesn`t mean they`re not out to get you.
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.