Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don`t show it to her.
Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot them?
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Adding “and sh!t” to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
Can’t wait till I’m old and I can play the ‘fall asleep’ card in awkward situations.
I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I`m living in their attic...
My key to happiness is probably lost somewhere in the junk drawer.
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
I never run with scissors…those last two words were unnecessary.
I`m not saying my wife`s voice is annoying, but right now I`m really jealous of deaf people.
Hello? HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet but you sent me a printer.
It’s amazing how easily “I have 10 minutes to waste before I need to leave” accidentally turns into “oh crap I’m running late.”
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.