Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My girlfriend says I talk while I sleep... but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Yesterday I had to screw in a light bulb . Later, I crossed a road and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.
The one good thing about an egotist. They don`t talk about other people.
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinkyhead that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
Cheers, to judging people who spell words wrong in their statuses.
Still no news on the royal baby. One will assume its being delivered by Royal Mail
You`re the kind of friend I text when I`m pooping and need something to do.
I miss times when I was working at the zoo... my boss fired me just because I left the lion`s gate open.... I mean who would steal a lion
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
I consider "Not Dishwasher Safe" to be more of a challenge than a warning.
I hate when a website has a picture that you can click and enlarge. Then the "enlarged picture" is the same exact size as the thumbnail!
I can’t tell if I’m hungry, but better eat just in case.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
Just think, there is an entire generation of idiots who will wonder: "Why did they have a hashtag button on landline phones?"
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.