Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People who can finish a shampoo bottle at the same time as their conditioner are truly ninja`s.
I’m a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity.
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
You can tell a lot about someone by whether they read HP as horsepower or hit points.
If you`ve ever wondered why an animal is stupid enough to run into oncoming traffic on the highway, then you`ve obviously never been married.
I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
Sorry I said "at least it`s healthy" when you asked me how cute your baby was.
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
The best way to change a woman`s mind is to agree with her.
This beer is making me awesome !! ;)
I wish that some of my coworkers were not allowed in the break room because those are the people I need a break from.
I need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour.
Tequila, because sometimes you and your toilet need to hug it out.