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Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
Try sliding down a water slide without running water to realize how important foreplay is
What do you mean this posting of the BBQ ribs you made is not an invite?
Keep your marriage fresh by writing each other love notes like "I considered smothering you with a pillow last night but didn`t."
Is it just me or doesn`t anyone disappear in the Bermuda triangle anymore?
I walked a girl home last night, and things got a little awkward at one point when she turned around and found out I was walking her home.
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
Please, if I ever offend you, it’s because I meant to.
If the river were beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up..
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else...
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."
Thursday doesn`t even count as a day, it`s just the thing that`s blocking friday.