Daily Silly Status

I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.

Nothing says "I mean business" like bringing a shopping cart to the liquor store.

If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.

I just poured myself some iced tea. I could have sworn I heard one of the beers in my fridge whisper "What the F*ck!?"

Relationship status: I get the remote to myself!

Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped

The only way a fidgey spinner would relieve my stress is if it was edible ...

I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.

I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.

You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...

I wish I drove a Volkswagen bug. It would be cool to know that every time I drove by a school bus, some kid was getting punched.

I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that

Some days the only thought that stops me from being Dexter...is that I am WAY too pretty to go to prison

Top three reasons he doesn`t text you back: 1. He`s just not that into you 2. He`s imaginary 3. He`s a cat

Retirement plans compared .. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycl