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Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
A person who is bad at math should never take a calculated risk.
You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare. Back in my day we just died
Procrastination comes to those who wait.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it`s like excuse me, I`m working here.
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, can burn your a$$ tomorrow.
My dog doesn`t always bark like there`s an intruder in the house, but when he does he waits until I`m home alone and in the shower.
If a door closes in your life...kick that f*cking thing open and continue to pursue your dreams.
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
Why are there no owls here? I Was lead to believe there would by owls here. #hooters
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?