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I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
United should roll out Rodeo Rewards where you get paid based on how long you are able to stay on the plane when you are chosen to volunteer.
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
So far I`m 0 for 276 for walking around the block in hopes of finding a bag of money on the side of the road.
I made a salad with red wine vinaigrette only I left out the vinegar and the oil and ok it`s just lettuce with wine all over it. Anyhoo, I`m drunk.
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
When will math grow up and start solving its own problems
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic
My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.