Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m just a few smartphone apps away from never having to talk to anyone again.
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
Once again, I`m a distant runner-up for TIME magazine`s `Person Of The Year`. I`m beginning to think it`s rigged...
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
That awkward moment when a homeless person walks up to you at a Coinstar machine.
I don`t lift so maybe I`m wrong about this, but I feel like Popeye might be focusing on his forearms too much.
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year`s resolutions.
when a police officer yells turn around . Do not respond by singing . Every now and then i get a little bit lonely when you never come around
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
That mind-blowing moment when you realize chores were really the crap your parents didn’t want to do.
I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.
I pretty much spend all day, every day, just looking forward to going back to sleep.