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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
My coworkers should be less concerned about my job performance and just be happy I remember to wear pants each day.
3yo just yelled "face-five!" & slapped his brother in the face. I`m totally using that at work tomorrow.
Be thankful for stupid people, they make it easier for the rest of us to get ahead in life.
Nice try butter flavored pancake syrup, but I`m still putting butter on them!!
I just let my mind wander, but it didn’t come back yet.
If they really want to increase breast awareness, why not try a National Motorboat Day?
He died doing what he loved: telling me I`m overreacting.
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
There are days when everything goes perfectly. . I wonder what those are like?
Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
Don`t get into a relationship with someone unless they love you as much as Kim Kardashian loves Kim Kardashian.
I plan my entire day around the possibility of a nap.
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.