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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
Exercise? More like extra fries.
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
I think I have an urge to get up and clean the house. Wait...no, false alarm.
It`s too bad parallel lines never meet because they have so much in common.
Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
I`m ready to regret having sex with you.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
Whenever somebody said they did something "Like a Boss" I assume that they did nothing but took all the credit for it.
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
I met a guy exactly like my father so I brought him home and my mom shot him.
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.