Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I tried to log in on my ipad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don`t own an ipad. Also, I`m out of vodka.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Drinking lots of beer and doing my taxes. So far the Government owes me 3.1 million. I love this Country!
When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
If I throw a stick will you leave?
What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?
i don`t know what to say on your comment so i just hit "like" so you won`t be upset that ignored you.
I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
I keep my TV volume at "screw the neighbors".
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers… carry on.
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time