Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
I`m for driverless cars, but honestly, having to drive is the only thing standing in the way of me being a complete drunk piece of sh!t 24/7
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
exactly how long is a cotton picking minute.
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
Face down, a$$ up ... that`s the way I tie my shoes.
Sad life : After watching 2 seconds of Spongebob I already know what episode it is ... I`m 41
If you ever feel like a failure, just know that somewhere in the world, someone just lost their straw inside a Capri Sun.
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
The one who laughs last is the slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.
My advise to all the young people out there, "Do not grow up; it`s a trap!!"
Well, Iām bored again. Time to open the fridge