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Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents.
If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
I feel like I`m not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don`t cut and dye my hair and change my identity.
All my biological clock does, is let me know when it`s time to eat again
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid...
When I have a yard sale I play the theme song to Sanford & Son with a boombox on my porch.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
Being a Zombie doesn`t sound that bad. You don`t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!