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I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
Why can`t braille just be in the shape of the letters?
If you like someone, pretend they`re a charger and you`re an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
I feel like the majority of Eminem`s songs are just him reading from his diary with angry background music.
Someone needs to take a chain saw to your family tree.
Halfway through singing a romantic ballad to my cat, it occurred to me that I`m going to die alone.
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
“Can we talk tomorrow?” is my way of saying “I’ll try to do a better job of avoiding you tomorrow?”
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
I dont pay for cabs if I’m too drunk to drive. I find the nearest Dominos, order a pizza delivery to my house & ask for a ride home with it.
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it’s too late.
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*