Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Being an adult is basically a "choose your own adventure" book, but every choice sounds terrible.
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
What supermarket did the pilgrims visit to purchase their canned gelatin cranberry sauce? I want my Thanksgiving to be authentic.
If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely!!
*Australian accent* Notice the wife in her natural habitat shaming the male husband species into doing what she wants!
Bacon...need I say more
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
If it weren`t for marriage,,, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
Don`t you hate it when you`re typing something and you`re thinking about something else so then you subconsciously type what you were boobies.
Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you`re doing it.
I don`t need a New Years Resolution, I`m already awesome!
I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.