Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
Three guys walk into a bar. Two ended up with a concussion, the other needed 4 stitches.
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
The only thing worse than having it rain after you wash your car is have to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
I`ve robbed banks before...and they`re never getting their pens back.
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
Love your neighbor, but don`t get caught...
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.