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Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
He was like, `We`re all slowly dying` So I was like, `WRONG` and I threw him in front of a moving bus.
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
When people have cars as their profile picture I automatically presume they are a transformer.
There’s a reason why “sober” and “so bored” sound almost exactly the same.
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-ass".
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
So it turns out being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
You can either wear granny panties OR yoga pants - not both. Pick one.