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I carved my name in a fruitcake in 1982. If anyone gets it this year, post a pic!
Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
Before I die I`m going to eat a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
Marriage counseling - because sometimes your spouse needs to hear from a professional that they are being an a$$
Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
I`m just 1 nap, 8 beers, 2 orgasms and my own personal robot away from this being the best day ever.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.