Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
Vodka and denial are cheaper than therapy.
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
I always tell my kids that it`s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
You call it "Road Rage". I call it "Aggressively maneuvering around a$$holes that don`t know how to f*cking drive."
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey.
A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you`re better off staying home with no pants on.
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things.
I`ve officially met everyone`s mother yesterday via Facebook so I`m pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don`t have Cancer! Me: So it`s working...