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I`m pretty sure all dogs can smell drugs. It`s just that most of them aren`t snitches.
If you`ve never played Tetris, you`re probably useless at loading a dishwasher
“Swearing is unattractive” I’m not attractive anyway so f*ck off
Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
My advice for pretty much anything that`s broken is "did you try and jiggle it?".
Fellas; There’s no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry’s in the oven. I’m going to bed.
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
If love is blind....why is lingerie so popular?
When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young
Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it.
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.
There`s a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You`d better f*cking be there.