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Of all the things I have lost in life I mis my mind the most
Who´s up for Candyland? $20 buy in
My mom put shredded carrots in our Jello, so don`t tell me about your rough childhood.
School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
Some of the best things in life...are mistakes.
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of itself.
As it turns out, I’m not an afternoon person either.
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
"Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I`m just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.