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You can tell a guy has a woman in his life when he remembers to do stuff like put on deodorant and wipe his butt most of the time!
You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
Some days are just not meant to be productive.
My wife let me remove all her clothes last night ... From the dryer
My house looks like I`m losing a game of Jumanji.
You’re not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone.
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
There I was, watching a advertisement when a YouTube video rudely interrupts it...
Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
It`s funny how as you get older you relate more to the villains in Disney than the Princesses.
Nobody talk to me until I`ve Instagrammed my coffee.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.