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I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
This cat poop tastes like I`m about to get yelled at -Dogs
Accidentally bought a bag of raw almonds. Turns out I don`t like almonds, I like salt.
The 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog.
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
Chasing your dreams is hard... especially when that damn alarm keeps going off
Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
The ultimate home security system is having shitty stuff.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run, but I did break a sweat.
I just changed my relationship status from “left hand” to “right hand”…
Sometimes I buy huge pants and take a picture of myself holding them up just to feel like I lost a ton of weight.
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but I’m trying to be proactive.
Don`t judge a man by how low his pants hang below his a$$...just kidding, that`s a great reason to judge someone.