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Nothing is more dangerous than a woman “gathering her thoughts”.
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
they say "money cant buy happiness" but money pays for my internet connection and my vodka so im thinking maybe "they" are wrong
Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don`t get. Those who do are smiling right now.
Wonder if Jesus gets screwed out of birthday presents just because his birthday is so close to Santas?
Group Therapy: listening to ALL your voices.
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
Did you know you have the right to remain silent even when you`re not being arrested?
A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
I`m glad I don`t work in an office. I can only imagine the smell at lunch time when everybody opens their egg salad sandwiches today.
Does this floor I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?