Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)
Haters gonna hate, your honor
My kids wanna have a water balloon fight later, I just got done putting mine in the freezer... Wanna bet I win...
I’ve noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be.
My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, "It`s not working. I cant take it anymore, I`m going to moms" I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold, WTF is she talking about?
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
Be careful when you`re watching a movie with your wife. You`re gonna get blamed for whatever the guy in the movie does.
Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.
The best thing about marriage is how wives always like to joke about making sure the life insurance premiums are paid up...
I`d stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff.
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor`s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.
My dog is eating. I`m sitting next to her, staring intently at her, making her obviously uncomfortable. Yeah, how`s THAT feel, mutt?